The 5K

It was July 3rd, 2018 and the phone rings, it's my dear friend Marla. She says "Hey, kid what are you doing tomorrow? You want to run a 5k with me?".

We finished!

When the words came out of her mouth, I just grinned to myself on the other side of the phone. Of course Marla would be calling me to do a 5k with her on a moments notice. She's a bad ass woman. She's stronger than hell. She's been through hell and was in the middle of chemo and radiation.

Marla is a gift to anyone who is blessed with her presence. She is an angel in a human suit. In 2016, once I was released from ICU after my NDE (near death experience), she visited me in the hospital and brought me the most comfortable pair of PJ's (which I still have and wear to this day) so I would have something comfortable to go home in. This is just one example of Marla's capacity to want the best for you.

So, in the middle of her living hell SHE is calling me to do a 5k. The average healthy person doesn't do 5k's on a moments notice let alone a person fighting aggressive cancer. When I asked if she was feeling up to it, she answered in a very concise and affirmative "I need to do this for myself, to feel strong". I wasn't going to argue with that.

"I need to do this for myself, to feel strong."

Finishing Strong

So we met up that morning in the tiny town of Hadley, MI to participate in their annual Independence Day Festivities. Justin and my son accompanied me. If you want a slice of what true wholesome small town Midwest is like, this celebration is the perfect example. Marla shows up in a red, white, and blue head scarf and new running shoes. I, on the other hand, had on old ratty tennis shoes and pieced together running attire from back when I was actually a runner and triathlete.

As the first mile went by, my admiration for this women grew with each stride. About midway through the race Marla suggested we walk and run when it felt right. I was grateful for her suggestion given the fact I hadn't ran in quite some time. She was tiring but we decided the importance of finishing strong and knowing we gave it hell was more important than succumbing to defeat. So, as we rounded the last curve before the finish line, we made the decision to finish strong and sprint, literally sprint, and finished hand-in-hand.

What I learned that day was the true importance of finishing strong beyond what coaches say in high school football movies. (Trust me, if you know Justin, you know he LOVES high school football movies). I realized, in some instances, failure and defeat aren't an option. For Marla, finishing the race proved to her spirit just how strong she was.

I called on this moment while I lay in the hospital bed three months later wrapping my head around the fact that my journey of carrying a baby was over. My body was the only thing preventing us from growing our family. I felt defeated. To be honest, I felt like absolute shit. In some respects I was almost glad Justin wasn't there for all of this. To see the defeat on his face may have pushed me to a breaking point. It was almost easier to process it all on my own.

It was in that exact moment I pulled out my phone a started researching surrogacy. I text Justin, "We are doing surrogacy." He simply text back "I agree. We have options."

It wasn't a matter of "if" we were going to have a baby but rather "how".

It was time to finish strong.

Update: Feb 10, 2019 - Yes, Marla is still a bad ass. She finished her last rounds of chemo and radiation in mid-October and by November was running her new (very successful) business venture in Detroit. She a force to be reckoned with.

Update: April 16, 2019 - Marla is still a bad ass, cancer free.