When I awoke on the morning of December 28, 2016, I had no idea this would be the day I'd be standing on death's doorstep.
New Years Day 2017 - My first day home.
On December 28, 2016 our lives changed forever. After easily conceiving our amazing son in 2013, we decided in early Fall of 2016 we wanted to grow our family and love. We started trying to conceive again using the motto “trying but not trying”.
In early December I noticed I had a strange period so I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN and went in. On December 8th they performed an ultrasound, nothing was detected, and everything was seemingly okay. My doctor attributed the weird cycle to hormone changes. So I didn’t think anything of it and continued on with the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Christmas came and went.
On December 28, Justin woke up early and made a delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast from the eggs of chickens we co-parent with our neighbor. As I sat at our kitchen island I suddenly had an intense abdominal pain. I didn’t know what was wrong but I knew it was serious. I thought for sure my appendix had burst due to the overindulgence of the holidays. We quickly called a sitter to come get my son and we rushed to the hospital, not realizing the grave danger I was in.
As we entered the ER I started to feel light headed. I was quickly admitted. Once in the ER I started to lose consciousness. I could feel myself slipping away. As I struggled to stay conscious, the ER doctor asked “Is there a chance you could be pregnant?” I will never forget the lightning rod that went through my body when he asked that. In that moment, the reality of what was happening hit me like a ton of bricks. I WAS pregnant but something was horribly wrong.
Come to find out, on December 8, when I visited my doctor I was in fact pregnant but since the pregnancy was implanted in the corner of my uterus just past where the Fallopian tube connects, it was not yet detectable. This is also the reason I was still having a period.
As I lay in the bed surrounded by Justin and my parents, I was losing my fight to stay alive. I became acutely aware of everything around me beyond the normal senses. I was also well aware of the presence of angels around me. In one instance, I vividly recall the phone conversation a nurse, who had rushed into to help, had with my doctor. She had stepped out of the room to make a pleading phone call for her to hurry to the hospital. Although my body was unconscious, it was as if I was standing right next to them in the hallway on another line, listening to every word they said.
I was sent for a battery of tests but little did anyone know that with every precious minutes that passed I was slowly dying. I had experienced an extremely rare ruptured cornial ectopic pregnancy and ruptured ovarian cyst. I was bleeding to death. I found out much later that 70% of women don't survive this.
I lost four units of blood - half the body's blood. I was hemorrhaging. I vividly recall my physical self not wanting to let go of my soul. On the other hand I was experiencing pure euphoria. I wanted to go to that euphoric state. It was calm, fearless, and welcoming. Every couple moments I recall being pulled back to reality as I kept seeing flashes of my son. My parents. My husband. Their anguish was heart wrenching. All I wanted to say to them was "don't worry, I'm fine".
I vividly recall making a conscious decision that I must stay. I needed to be a mother. I wanted to watch my son become a man. I knew my job on earth wasn't done. I chose to stay. Justin and my parents helplessly watched as they did whatever they could to save me.
If it weren’t for the skill of my OBGYN, Dr. Mattie Scott, and the angels who were with me that day, I wouldn’t be here writing this blog. I owe her my life. She is an angel in a human suit. The last memory I had was of her grabbing my hand and saying "We've got this." as the door to the operating room opened. I could see the fear in her eyes. Later, I would find out the entire time she was operating on me, she was praying. I truly believe her energy was pouring into my body with every movement of her hand. She is one of the strongest women I know. Her strength and my will to survive are what pushed me to live.
I spent 4 days in the ICU and, with a fatality rate of 70%, I was one of the lucky women to come home. The pain was intense but the side effects of that much blood loss far outweighed any pain morphine could manage. I struggled to maintain blood pressure. I wasn't able to stand or walk without passing out. The first night I stayed in ICU, my mother slept in a chair at the foot of the bed holding my hand. Justin was in a chair by my side. The ICU allowed two of my dearest friends, Kelsey & Suzanne, to visit me one at a time. I felt completely helpless not knowing what the future would hold.
I left the hospital a week later with 4 units of other people’s blood, an eight inch incision in my abdomen, and a new appreciation for life.
The odds of what I had happen were more than 1 in 1,000,000.
The recovery took months. I got winded getting dressed. The headaches were daunting. The fatigue was brutal. After about six months, I started to feel like myself again. I still hadn't processed my near death experience (NDE). It was easier to act as if it didn't happen. I couldn't quite reconcile what I had experienced in my unconscious state until late 2017.
Fast forward to early 2018. Still determined to give my son a brother or sister (he asked for a baby for Christmas this year) and grow our family, and after the trauma of the NDE incident had wore off, Justin and I embarked on determining whether or not I could safely carry another baby.
After three months of being poked, prodded, tested, and visiting some of the best specialists in the Midwest, it was determined that, although I was missing a crescent portion of my uterus from where they had repaired the rupture and removed a Fallopian tube, I was able to carry a baby. To be honest, I was surprised. I thought I was broken.
As it was explained to us, the chances of another cornial ectopic pregnancy were slim...too rare to ever happen again. Matter of fact, it wasn't even discussed at length. The concern was complications later in the pregnancy due to my weakened uterus. We were overjoyed to get the news.
Read what happens next here > https://stephajones.wixsite.com/betweenlemons/post/closure
